


Nothing Wrong But Myself

by unsettled



Category: RocknRolla (2008)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsettled/pseuds/unsettled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Get yourself clean, Johnny. Then we'll talk.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Wrong But Myself

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Trouble](https://archiveofourown.org/works/107873) by [unsettled](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsettled/pseuds/unsettled). 



They drive back to Archy's flat for the night. He's been looking for places for Johnny for the past couple of weeks, but when he asks if Johnny wants to pick one out, Johnny tells him no. "Not today, Uncle Arch. Just take me home. Your place. It's still the same, right?" And of course it's the same, it's always the same, the same escape Johnny used to run to when he was little, the same as when he used to drop in – break in – unannounced, when Archy used to wake up to a drunk or high or manic Johnny crashing around his flat at three in the morning. Used to have to lure him to the sofa, but Johnny always fell asleep so fast, sprawled over Archy and out like a light. 

He takes him to the flat. 

Dumps some junk from the couch for him, 'you know how it goes, Johnny', and – not quite sure how it will go over – throws his arm around Johnny's (still) too skinny shoulders and hugs him tight for a moment. "It's good to have you back, you know," he says, and rushes off to the bathroom before anything sappy can happen. 

When he comes out, Johnny's sitting on his bed. 

He looks up. "I'm clean," he says. "I'm clean."

Archy looks at him, helplessly. 

Johnny hesitates, and for a second he looses that grown up air he's had since Archy picked him up. For a second he looks all of fifteen again, and scared as hell. Just for a second. 

"I'm clean," he repeats. "So can we talk?" 

Archy feels like he's missing something, something important, something - 

_Get yourself clean, Johnny. Then we'll talk._

He gapes. 

Johnny looks like he's losing confidence with every second. "You said," he starts, defiant, vulnerable, "You said -"

"What if I didn't mean it?"

Johnny's jaw tightens, and he stands. "Why – just give me a chance, Arch, just – all I want-"

"You don't know what you want."

"To hell with that!" Johnny bursts out, raking a hand through his hair. "What is it?" he asks. "What am I doing wrong? Why don't you want me? I thought – Len's gone, what's wrong with me?"

 _It's not-_ Archy shakes his head. "It's not that, Johnny. It's not that simple. We just, we shouldn't – I don't know why you've gotten so fixated on me-"

"Because you're the only one I’ve wanted!" and Johnny wavers slightly, colors slightly. "I – fuck the shouldn't's, Uncle Arch, _why_? I thought – I thought you wanted me, you – you didn't act – I thought when I was clean you'd listen." 

Johnny looks younger and younger each moment – it's that defiance, that anger, that hate of the whole world for being stupid tossers, that makes Archy feel like he facing down a different Johnny, a Johnny from years and years and years ago, a Johnny who'd kissed him – who'd kissed him, half terrified and all perfect except for Archy himself, and he can't forget about that kiss, he's never forgotten that kiss, and he'd just be lying to himself if he said he didn't want another, and another, and another, and all of Johnny. 

And Johnny's right there, there for the taking, and maybe it's wrong- 

And maybe he just can't give a fuck any more. He holds out a hand. "Come 'ere," and Johnny falls into him, turns his face up – barely, barely up, so much less of a distance than he remembers – and there's no stopping him now, no stopping him once he's kissed Johnny again. 

Johnny's clean, but he's still as fucking addicting.


End file.
